Zvijezda 'Dawson's Creeka' o pobačaju: Bol će vas rastrgati

Imali smo tri pobačaja tijekom godina uključujući onaj prije ove malene ljepote, napisao je James Van Der Beek (41). Zvijezda serije 'Dawson 's Creek' od 2010. je u braku s televizijskom producenticom Kimberly Brook (36) te imaju kćeri Oliviju (7), Emiliju (2), Annabel (4) i tromjesečnu Gwendolyn te sinove Joshuu (6). Glumac je progovorio o pobačajima i istaknuo da se na engleskom ne bi trebali nazivati 'miscarriage' što znači i greška i neuspjeh. 

 

 

 

 

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Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage”, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start. Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned 😍). I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on Sep 7, 2018 at 3:47pm PDT

- Trebamo novu riječ za to jer na podmukao način sugerira pogrešku majke, kao da je nešto ispustila i nije uspjela iznijeti do kraja - napisao je James. Objasnio je da iz onog što je naučio, u svim osim najjasnijim, najekstremnijim slučajevima, pobačaj nema nikakve veze s bilo čime što je majka učinila ili nije. 

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- Maknimo svu krivicu s njih odmah. Pobačaj će vas rastrgati kao ništa drugo. Bolan je i slama srce na razinama dubljim nego što ste možda ikad doživjeli - istaknuo je glumac. Dodao je kako ne treba pokušavati racionalizirati svoju tugu i da ju treba pustiti da teče u valovima u kojima dolazi i prepustiti joj pravedan prostor. 

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- Jednom kad ćete moći pokušajte prepoznati ljepotu u tome kako ste se sastavili drugačijim nego što ste bili prije. Neke promjene radimo proaktivno, neke jer nas je svemir razbio, no u bilo kojem slučaju te promjene mogu biti darovi - napisao je James. Tvrdi kako mnogi parovi postanu bliži nakon pobačaja nego što su bili prije te većina roditelja shvati dublju želju za djetetom nego ikad prije. 

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- Puno, puno, puno parova dobiju sretne, zdrave, predivne bebe kasnije. Čuo sam neka metafizička objašnjenja za njih, a većina se kreću oko ideje da te male duše volontiraju na kratkom putovanju za dobrobit roditelja - zaključila je zvijezda 'Dawson's Creeka'. 

 

 

 

 

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#tbt Real-life coffee with my TV Momma @thereal_marymargarethumes #RealTimeTBT 🤯😘#dawsonscreek

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on Aug 23, 2018 at 5:16pm PDT